Legacy

My mother loved too hard.
She poured all of her love into people and didn't care much about ending up empty.

She burned herself so that others could rise from her ashes.
She died for love.
Some called it a weakness;
but hers, was a superpower.
Only, a superpower not meant for this world.

She gifted me the ability to love selflessly, wholeheartedly and unconditionally and that is taking me places and for that I'll be forever grateful.

You see, my mother knew all there was to know about loving.

When my daughter grows up, I won't have to teach her how to love.
She'd have it in her blood and in her bones.
Because she'd be a part of me, and I, am a shadow of my mother; who if anything, was an epitome of unconditional love.

So, I won't have to teach her how to love.
But I'll teach her all there is to know about loving her own self.
I'll teach her to embrace herself, and to hold her own hand.
I'll tell her that she should talk to herself in the most loving words and tones, treat herself in the gentlest ways.
So everytime, somebody treats her any less, she is awake enough to not allow it,
to not accept it.

I'll teach her to be kind and gentle. Towards her own self.
She'll know how to be soft and she'll know things about forgiving herself.
She won't die for love but she'd live to love.

You see, when my daughter grows up, she'd say that her mother taught her of self love and for that she'll be forever grateful.

She'd say, her mother damn sure knew a thing or two about it.

A fresh perspective on moving on after a breakup

This is how I move on.
.
When I was 18, I fell in love with this guy who one day just disappeared on me. Like, 'Poof.' And gone.
And I kept needing a closure from him for a really long time.
I never got one.
But I did realize along the way, that the real closure was to stop needing one from him.
And in creating one for myself.
.
I thought hard. I thought hard as to why I loved him.
"He was perfect", I would tell myself. "You're never finding someone as great as him."
Now, I know. I know, that I thought so highly of him because I didn't think so great of myself then.
So I quite naïvely decided that I'm gonna become just as good.
.
He read a lot and I admired him for that.
So, I started reading more.
.
He was social and I was shy.
And because of that, I missed out on many possible connections.
I practiced being more warm and friendly.
.
He was an empath and was very sensitive and mindful. He would sense if someone was in pain and was gentle enough to heal it too.
.
I loved that the most about it.
.
I too wanted to live outside of my head and be present in my surroundings so that I could know if people were suffering. So that I could attempt at making things better for them.
And, I try.
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A few men came and left after him. And each of them, but obviously, had good and bad qualities.
When I let go of those men, I would let go of the bad qualities and the anger and grudges  too.
I would choose to remember them for the beauty they had brought, for the beautiful beings they were.
.
I realized that my naïve way to move on wasn't so naive after all.
It had a deeper meaning.
We don't just love anybody.
The ones we love are a reflection of our fears and insecurities, hopes and dreams,
are a reflection of what we want to become,
a reflection of parts we need to love more
and also of the ones we need to explore.
.
You see, we don't just love anybody.
.
So everytime these men left, I would think which empty space, which hole in my heart were they filling?
How about I fill that myself?
Which parts of me felt loved with a certain guy?
This would always give me a clue as to which parts I needed to love more, myself.
I would think as to what I loved the most about each of them.
I would think if I wanted to imbibe that.
.
You see, we're fed with notions that one day somebody else will fill the space between our fingers and in our lives.
But I want my two hands to be enough to hold each other in times of need.
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You see, I want to come home to myself and be contented and happy about it.
Hell, I want to be eager and excited about it.
.
I want to fall eternally, beautifully and devastatingly in love with myself.
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And I'm getting there. And every time, I'm on the road by myself, I realize that I've come to enjoy my company more and more.
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We spend our lives searching our other halves, searching that someone..
who'd complete us.
.
But I've stopped.
I know now,
that I'm not a half
and I'm not a piece or a part.
.
I am a full circle.
I am complete.